


Legacy

by peggyrogers



Series: the carter-rogers saga [2]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Character Development, Emotional Baggage, Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, Prequel, References to Depression, So much angst though, Steggy And Peggysous Are Minor, Young Tony Stark, not exactly a romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-01-09 09:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12274038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peggyrogers/pseuds/peggyrogers
Summary: Before the discovery of Peggy Carter being alive in 2010. Noah Carter had a long story to be told. The son of Agent Carter and Captain America did not live the life that was expected for him.This story is a prequel to the events of Never Letting Go, taking a trip to Noah's life that spreads out to the 64 year gap he had to live without his mother. Determined to carry on Peggy's legacy, Noah also struggles to fight his personal issues in dealing with the grief he lives with every day of his life, affecting not only him but his loved ones around him.





	1. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One minute Noah was sat on the sofa with his mother, waiting for Christmas to arrive, the next there are a swamp of Agents trying to figure out who had taken her and why. Whilst everyone tries to give him hope that she will come back, Noah is 10 but he is anything but naive.

* * *

_Each chapter in this story is an important event/year in Noah's life which revolves around various other Marvel characters, including the birth of the future man in a can._

_Just an extra warning, the majority of this story is angst and as it spreads over 64 years. There will be various character deaths included. So. I'm Sorry._

* * *

**24TH DECEMBER 1956**

 

_Age: 10_

 

It was snowing. Freezing. And yet, he still sat outside on the bench that they had in their backyard. Sitting in the same spot that _she_ would always sit in. 10 year old Noah Carter just sat there in silence, with his hands clutched together and staring at the icy ground. The house was filled with investigators. It had been a total of fifteen minutes since his father, Daniel Sousa, found himself and his sister in the panic room that Peggy had put them in when she heard the strange knock on the door.

 

Peggy Carter had officially been missing since fifteen minutes ago. Taken right out of her home. And the blood that was on the kitchen floor, did not make things look good. But he didn’t want to hear about that. He did hear the patio doors open, in the corner of his eyes, he saw who was coming towards him and sighed before saying in a lifeless mutter “Leave me alone, Uncle J”

 

Jack Thompson sighed as he slid his hands in his winter coat pockets. He looked into the inside for a moment, seeing Daniel searching everywhere for clues. A desperate man on a desperate mission. Jack looked back down to Noah and motioned his hand to the free space of the bench “Mind if I sit?”

 

Noah didn’t respond. He just shrugged. Jack took it as a yes and sat down on the bench beside his surrogate nephew. Jack looked up at the sky as the snow slowly fell down on their faces “Pretty cold out here, bud. Sure you’ll be better inside with your sister”

“No”

 

Jack sighed “Come on. You’ll get a cold if you-”

“If I go back in that house then it’s real” Noah stated, quickly glancing through the window. Noah shook his head and weakly mumbled “And it can’t be real. Momma has gotta walk through those doors and she’s gotta tell me to come inside. _She’s_ gotta warn me that I’ll get a cold. Not you”

 

Jack put his hand to Noah’s back. Before he had the chance to say anything, Noah then cried “Is she dead?”

 

Taken by surprise at his question, Jack cleared his throat and shuffled closer to the young boy. Comforting wasn’t usually his thing, but he care for Noah a lot. If he ever had a son, he hoped that he would have a son like Noah. Jack gripped tighter onto him and said in a quiet mutter “We don’t think so, bud. And I swear, we are gonna look for her. And do our absolute best to get her back to you”

 

“She’s my best friend” he cried, then leaning his head into Jack’s chest and allowed himself to sob. Jack put his other hand on the back of Noah’s head and nodded “I know. I know”

* * *

 

Noah waited until everyone had left until he went back into the house. Jack had a few words with Daniel and then left him alone. Noah didn’t speak, he didn’t say a single word. He went up into his room. He walked in and saw the unfinished jigsaw puzzle that was in the middle of the room, he and Peggy were working on it. They had been all day. It was almost done. But now he couldn’t finish it, it wouldn’t be the same without her. His hand clenched up into a fist as he took in a deep breath and for a split second, he lost his composure and kicked at the jigsaw, obliterating it across his room.

 

Noah gripped into the back of his head and dropped down on the bed. He tried to regain his composure, then the photoframe of himself and Peggy caught the corner of his eye. He was just 14 months at the time, Peggy was holding him in her arms and had her lips pressed against the top of his fair head. How could this have happened? Half an hour ago he was sat on the couch with his little sister and mother in front of the fire, all waiting for Daniel to come home and get ready for Christmas morning.

 

Which was in less than four hours now. Noah stood back up from his bed and left his room. He looked down the hallway and saw the closed bedroom where his little sister was now sleeping. She was barely even five, she had no idea what was going on. And with everyone promising her that _‘mommy will be back soon’_ she didn’t process the possibility of them being wrong and just went to sleep. He couldn’t see himself sleeping tonight. Not after this. No longer knowing if his mother was dead or alive. He could _feel_ his heartbreaking and it was painful beyond words. He wasn’t ready for this, he was only ten. Only ten years old and still very much in need of his mother, she can’t leave him. She has to come back. She promised him that she would always be here for him.

 

Noah walked downstairs to get himself a drink. He didn’t even know what he was doing, he felt lifeless. And numb. He knew he was feeling numb from what had happened, it was only natural, and he knew that it would soon kick in and he would get crushed under the rubble that was his life and world. On his way to the kitchen, he saw Daniel sat in his arm chair, his hair was messed up and floppy, eyes were red. He had never seen his father be like this. He was drowning his sorrows in his whiskey. _Jack Daniels_. Which was Peggy’s favourite. She used to always joke that it was because it had Daniel’s name in it, but then when Daniel got too cocky, she used to always raise a brow and tease him because Jack’s name was in it.

 

Noah stuck his hands in his pockets and walked over to him. They hadn’t spoke. Noah went straight up into his room when people left.

 

Noah gulped heavily and then said in a weak mutter “Dad?”

 

Daniel snapped out of his gaze and took in a deep breath as he looked to Noah, he was tired, extremely tired and emotionally drained. Daniel rubbed his eyes and sat up in his chair, putting his whiskey to the table by his side “Hi...Noah it’s…”

 

He soon stopped himself from saying _‘it’s late’_ as he realised the currently nightmare that was their reality. Daniel sighed and tried to find the best words possible. He dragged his palm down his mouth and cleared his throat “How’re you doing, kiddo?”

 

Noah shrugged “I don’t know”

 

Daniel sighed and nodded as he looked down to the floor “Yeah...I don’t know either”

 

“I can’t sleep”

 

Daniel looked back to Noah as he ran his fingers through his hair, he frowned and dropped his hand down “I know. I can’t either. But we gotta try, it’s gonna be a rough few days...maybe weeks”

 

Noah let out a shaken breath and looked away for a moment, he remained silent for a moment and rubbed his lips together as he thought. But the more he thought the more his eyes filled up just thinking about her, he gulped heavily and asked plainly “Dad. Do you believe in heaven?”

 

He then looked back to Daniel who just stared at him for a moment, Daniel then gave him a strong and confident nod as he replied “You know I do, son”

 

Noah nodded. He did too. He believed in heaven like he believed in the earth he lived in, he bit his lip and took another breath before saying “So Momma will be there then”

 

Daniel felt his heart drop, he quickly grabbed his crutch and stood up, walking over to Noah as fast as he could. He dropped his hand on Noah’s shoulder and get him to look at him “Listen to me...yes she will be but not for a very _very_ long time...cause I’m gonna find her, I promise, okay? Your mom is a warrior she isn’t going to be taken from us this easily, okay?”

 

With a tear running down his cheek, Noah nodded to him. Daniel pressed his lips against the top of Noah’s mousey brown hair and then held onto him tight. He patted Noah’s back and then gave it a gentle rub “Go on, try and get some sleep. I know that sounds impossible but please try”

 

Noah pulled his head away from Daniel’s chest and asked “Can I get a glass of water?”

 

“Course” Daniel whispered, giving Noah’s back another rub. Noah took himself into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, he then walked out and went over to the stairs, before going up, he turned back round “Pop...she’s gonna be okay, right?”

 

Daniel gave him a small, broken smile “If there’s one thing I know about your mother. It’s that she will always be okay, no matter what gets thrown at her”

 

Noah glanced down to his drink and nodded, giving the same broken smile right back to Daniel and said in a weak mutter “Merry Christmas, dad…”

 

Daniel let out a breath through his nose and said in a crack voice “Merry Christmas, son”

 

Daniel watched Noah walk up the stairs, and when he was gone, he dropped his head into his hand and just stood there for a moment in silence. He had been Noah’s father for eight years. When he and Peggy got together, Noah was only two. As far as Noah knew, Daniel was his biological father, but he wasn’t. Steve Rogers was. Which is still unknown to Noah. They were going to tell him together, and Daniel had to hold onto that hope that they still can.

 

He walked back over to the table and picked up the glass, as he did, he looked at his wedding ring. He made a promise to her that he would never let her down...and that promise would still stand for the rest of his life. He downed the last bit that was left in his glass and then walked to the stairs.

* * *

 

The next morning no longer felt how he expected it to feel. Christmas day was a day for family, a day for happiness. Everyone was supposed to come round to their home today for a big dinner, with Daniel doing the cooking along with the help of Ana. Peggy would of course play hostess whilst also trying to prevent Howard from saying something too inappropriate in front of her children.

 

Noah would help out in anyway he could whilst Eve paraded around the place with her new toys with Angie parading with her.

 

 _That_ was how it was supposed to be today. Instead they’ve woken up to a _cold_ ... _lifeless_ house. The light was now gone. Who knows if it will ever come back. Noah woke up reasonably early, he went down the hall and opened Evelyn’s bedroom door. She was sat up in bed, when she saw him, she gleamed a smile “Merry Christmas”

 

 _Bless her_ he thought to himself. She really hasn’t got a clue what was going on. He knew that he was going to have to do what all the grown ups were doing, assure her that Peggy has just gone away for a little while and she will be back soon, sometimes you’ve got to sugarcoat. God knows Peggy did it a fair few times with Noah when he was little.

 

He gave her a tight smile “Merry Christmas Evie”

 

Evelyn threw the duvet off of her and jumped down from her bed “Is mommy back now?”

 

Noah looked down to her as she walked towards him and tried not to cry. He just frowned and shook his head “No. Evie. Mom isn’t gonna be back for a while”

Evelyn gasped “She isn’t going to be here for Christmas!”

 

“Fraid not”

 

He saw how she was about to cry, she bowed her head and weakly mumbled “But...Christmas is her favourite”

 

Noah sighed and put his hands on her arms, giving them a comforting rub “I know, Evie. And she’s real sorry she’s missing it...but dad and the rest of the guys are gonna try and see when she can come back as soon as possible”

 

Evelyn looked up to her brother through her watery eyes “Promise?”

 

Noah swallowed his doubt and heartbreak through a heavy gulp and just nodded with another tight smile “Yeah…”

 

Evelyn let out a disappointed breath and asked in another weak mumble “Can we go wake up daddy?”

 

“Already awake” Daniel said as he came up behind them, also plastering on a smile as convincing as possible. Noah looked at him and scanned his face. He hadn’t slept well if at all, that was fairly obvious.

 

Daniel patted Noah’s shoulder and gave him an expression as if to say thank you, thank you for being brave for his sister’s sake. Noah was beyond his years, he understood that they had to do this for now. But also they both knew that they wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long, but maybe just today. Maybe let her try and enjoy her Christmas. Cause it may be the last one she gets to enjoy for a while.

 

Daniel got himself together best as he could, he went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face, then grabbing a towel and wiping his eyes, hoping that it would wipe the tired look away. He threw the towel over to the bath and opened the cabinet. Seeing all of Peggy’s things in there, her night cream, her toothbrush that he gently picked up and just stared at. Suddenly tearing up again. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before hearing his daughter’s excited cry again.

 

“Daddy! C’mon!”

 

Daniel took one last look at all the things and then closed the cabinet again before leaving the bathroom and heading downstairs with Evelyn. Having Noah trail behind, his hands stuck in his pockets and a glum look on his face. He would only be able to smile when Evelyn looked at him, for all the time she didn’t, he went back to being how he really felt. In agony. But he was still able to contain the tears.

 

They all walked downstairs and Evelyn ran into the living, seeing the presents that were under the tree. Noah stopped and looked to Daniel, then whispering to him “You stayed up to put the presents out?”

 

“Noah” Daniel sighed “We have to make this day as normal as possible for her”

 

“And what about in a few days when mom isn’t back-”

 

“Who says she won’t be?” Daniel said in a rather sharp tone as he looked to him, then frowning and saying in a more comforting voice “Son, we’re professionals. We have the best of the best out there looking for her right now”

 

Noah bit his lip and just walked over to the couch where Evelyn was, her feet tapping away at excitement. Daniel sat down on the couch and rubbed the five year olds back “Why don’t you go start unwrapping some?”

 

Evelyn crawled over to the tree and pulled a box out, she read the name and sighed, pushing it to Noah’s feet “Here you go”

 

Noah looked down to the box and then heard Daniel say in a low, quiet mumbled “Your mom picked it out. She knew you’ve been hounding for one for a while”

 

Noah stared at Daniel and then took in a deep breath before looking back down to it. He picked up the box and put the box on his lap. Reading the tag that was in his mother’s handwriting.

 

_Merry Christmas, my darling boy._

_I hope it’s the one you wanted._

_Love your momma x_

_(And dad, of course)_

 

Before he gave himself the chance to cry there and then, Noah slowly began to tear the paper and then saw the box in it’s true form.

 

A _Lincoln Futura_ tin toy car. They didn’t come cheap which is why Noah thought that he wasn’t going to get one, he thought there was no chance in hell. And they were selling out fast around Christmas. Peggy must’ve got hold of one earlier on in the year.

 

He opened the box and took the car out. He smiled, but it was tearful. He rested his head in his hand and stared at it. The fact that it was red made him think of her. Her red lipstick, nail varnish. Even the dark red jumper she was wearing last night, she was trying to get into the Christmas mood.

 

Noah looked over to Daniel and gave him a small smile before looking back down to the car. He collects them, when he got a good report at school or something like that, Peggy and Daniel would take him to a store so he could pick out a new one. But this was the motherlode for him. And he couldn’t even hug her for it.

 

His attention was soon taken over to Evelyn as she gasped over her new doll.

* * *

 

“Where is she?” A tearful Angie asked as she was in the kitchen.

 

Daniel sighed and frowned, taking his eyes off Evelyn who was being distracted by Ana and Edwin, so far she hadn’t been asking questions. She just said that _mommy will be back later._ It was for the best right now.

 

“Angie. I don’t know”

 

“What are you doing to find her!”

 

“Everything I can” Daniel growled, looking at her sternly “I have got everyone out there and I would be out there too...but I have to be here with my family today. She’d want me to do that”

 

Angie wiped her cheek and whispered in a cry “You don’t think she’s-”

 

“Don’t. Please”

 

Angie stared at him and saw how much this was cutting him up. She sighed out a cry and then before she could hug him, Noah came down the stairs. He didn’t know she arrived, so his surprise was imaginable when he walked in the kitchen and saw her. He could tell she knew by the tearful look in her expression. It was enough to make him go the same way.

 

When Angie saw this, she raced over to him and scooped him up into his arms. Lifting him off his feet, he legs wrapped around her waist as her hand cradled his head, he buried his face into her neck and let out his sobs. The ones that he had been holding in all day. Angie closed her eyes and stroked his hair as she cried in a whisper “Oh, babe”

 

Noah soon found it hard to catch his breath. Angie said nothing to no one and just carried him outside. Wrapping her arms tightly around his body and then kissed his cheek before whispering “Take deep breaths. I know it’s hard but don’t go into a panic attack”

 

She pressed her forehead against his and then carried on saying in a soothing voice “Look into my eyes”

 

He did as she asked and looked at her. Angie took deep breaths so he could copy, and eventually he found the path and began doing so. She nodded and brushed the strands of hair from his face as she ran her fingers through his hair “Good”

 

Angie lowered him down on the snowy ground. Noah covered his eyes before rubbing them. Angie just looked down to him and had no idea what she could say to make him feel better even in the slightest. She was on the verge of breaking down as it is, she can’t imagine how he was feeling. This was his _mother_. And the thing was he was there when it all happened. Granted he didn’t see her get taken.

 

But the look in her eyes when she said she loved him, it was like she knew.

 

Angie crouched down to his level and just looked at him for a little while longer, finally managing to speak “Your dad says you’ve been holding it together”

 

“I don’t know how” Noah whimpered as he wiped his eyes and avoided eye contact for a moment. Taking another deep breath. Angie took hold of his hands “You’re doing it”

 

Noah held his breath for a moment and then sobbed “Auntie Angie I think she’s dead”

 

The cry that came from his lips was heart wrenching and certainly broke Angie’s. She bit her lip as she tried not to burst out into tears as Noah then added, in another strained whisper “I just feel it”

 

“Noah, sweetie, you can’t think like that. There are-”

 

“The best of the best out there looking for her. I know” Noah sighed. He covered his eyes and then cried again “But _she_ was the best of the best and they got her...what chance does anyone else have?”

 

He dropped his hand and looked to her, she was stuck. All she could do was shrug, after clearing her throat she managed to say in a wobbled voice “We just have to hang onto hope”

 

“I just want my momma...I want her so bad”

 

Angie brought him close again and kissed his temple. He didn’t cry this time, he just let out another breath and held onto her as tight as he could. He opened his eyes and looked through the patio doors that reflected into the kitchen. He stared at them hard, thinking that if he looked at them hard enough, she would walk through.

 

Hoping she would come outside and rush to him, taking him in her arms and saying _‘I’m home darling, I’m home’_

 

But that wasn’t going to happen. Not for a long time and Noah feared, not _ever_.

 

Angie pulled back and they both took in a deep breath, she squeezed his hands and gave him a small, still hurting smile “Should we go back inside? Your mom would want you to carry on”

 

“When will he tell Evie?”

 

Angie bit her lip and struggled to speak in anything other than an emotional whisper “When things aren’t looking good, sweetie” she then raised her brows and spoke more strongly “Which is hopefully never going to happen”

 

The patio doors opened and Daniel took one step out, investigating both of their facial expressions before then asking them both “You two... _okay_?”

 

He know it sounded stupid. It was stupid. But he didn’t know what to say. Like Angie, he was on the verge of having a mental breakdown. He had to be strong for the sake of his kids and leave the crying and _anger_ to when he was alone in bed.

 

Angie stood back up straight and nodded down to Noah, giving him a reassuring expression and then nodding as she looked back to Daniel “As much as we can be”

 

Noah rubbed his lips together and just walked back into the kitchen. Not saying a word. Angie folded her arms and walked over to Daniel “He’s going to be a broken kid”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, if Peggy has really been…” she sighed and then carried on “If she can’t be found...then that boy is going to grow up bitter and he is going to crack”

 

Daniel looked to Noah over his shoulder and then looked back to her “I don’t know if I can do this”

 

“You _have_ to. Not just for the kids Daniel but for Peggy. You have to be strong and carry on for her, because when she gets back she will just kiss your ass if she finds out you’ve been losing it”

 

Daniel sighed out a small smile. He hopes this is the case. But there was a lot of doubt that he had pitted down into the bottom of his gut. Angie rubbed her lips together “Noah is the one you have to keep an eye on. More than Evelyn. Peggy was Noah’s world. He confided in her and they went everywhere together-”

 

“And she was pretty much the only one who can make him calm”

 

“You mean when he lost his temper and panic attacks”

 

“Not exactly” Daniel sighed. Then looking to Angie’s confused expression, he shrugged and then clarified “Remember the agreement Peggy and I made? When that boy reaches a certain age, we were going to sit him down and tell him the truth. We were going to tell him that I am his _step father_. That his real father is buried somewhere in the ice and is the superhero he reads the comics of...how do you think he will take that without her being there to keep him calm? And I don’t know the full story of her and Steve Rogers, do you?”

 

Angie shrugged and then shook her head “Not exactly. She was vague...I think she kept that relationship close to her chest”

 

“I’m man enough to admit that she did that because it is precious to her. To this day. I accept it. But how can I answer any questions he has when he is told that if Peggy is never found?”

 

“I’ll say to you what I have just said to _your son_. You can’t think like that. Peggy is a fighter, she will either claw her way back here or stay alive long enough to be found”

 

“God I hope you’re right” Daniel whispered, to then being pulled in for an embrace by Angie.

 

Noah walked over to the fireplace and sat in front of it whilst Evelyn played behind him. For a moment he closed his eyes and imagined his mother coming over and wrapping her arms around him from behind as she sat beside him.

 

He was just ten. Just a kid, he didn’t know how to handle this. Most ten year olds would be having a mental breakdown but as Peggy told him many _many_ time, he was no regular ten year old. He was beyond his years which made him feel that he had to hold it together and be the big boy that his parents always said he is.

 

But how could he stay this strong if he did not have his mother to run to.

* * *

  **as you can see, we are off to a happy start.**


	2. Happy Birthday Baby Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah's 18th birthday is coming up but ever since his mother was presumed dead when he was 11. He no longer cared about anything, including his own life. His reckless ways now effect the relationships with his family, causing Daniel to grow scared when he has to tell him the truth about his father.

**12TH AUGUST 1964**

 

_ Age: 17 - 18 _

 

Noah let out a thrilled shriek as picked up the speed on his car. Going so fast it was a surprise that there wasn’t burns left in the ground. 

 

A fellow classmate of his whose name was John Thorne. Let out a laugh and turned to his friend beside him “Guys insane” 

 

“He got a death wish or something?”

 

John just shrugged with his brows raised and then said with all seriousness “That’s what they say”

 

Noah pressed his foot down on the accelerator even more until he had to come to a sudden complete stop as a group of girls were crossing the road. They shrieked when they saw him speeding towards them. But he stopped just in time. Noah let out a breath and then rested his head against the back of the seat.

 

Then he saw his sister pushing her way through her friends to get a good look at him. She stood right in front of the car and stared at him for a moment before snapping at him “Are you insane?” 

 

Noah just rolled his eyes and looked away from her. Evelyn looked to her friends and told them to go on ahead, as they did. She walked over to the car and got in. Noah looked to her and raised his brow “Did I say you can get in my car?”

 

“Did dad say you can go speeding down the roads?” 

 

“I don’t have to answer to you” Noah said as he turned the engine on again and started driving again, at a more sensible speed. Evelyn sighed and shook her head before saying to him “They are going to actually arrest you someday”

 

“Let them” Noah grumbled. 

 

Evelyn looked away from him for a moment and just shook her head, taking in a deep breath and sighing out before saying to him in a harsh voice “The hell is wrong with you Noah?”

 

“Oh for Christ sake, Evie. You’re thirteen years old don’t try and lecture me”

 

“And you’re turning eighteen tomorrow. Why don’t you start acting like it. Maybe then your little sister won’t have to feel like she has to lecture you” 

 

Noah looked at her and then just kept his eyes back on the road. It had been eight years since his mother was reported missing. It had been seven years and five months since she was presumed dead and the search was done. 

 

Well, the professional search. Noah knew that Daniel was still searching on the sly, still digging around to get information, just anything to tell himself that she wasn't dead. Where as Noah told himself she was gone on that Christmas Eve night. Evelyn was okay, she went on with her life just fine. But she didn't exactly remember the trauma of that night, or Peggy in general, which she was always upset and frustrated about. But looking at the way her brother has gone, a part of her thinks it's a good thing. 

 

Noah was self destructive as soon as the news of Peggy dying really sunk in. Hitting twelve and the boy became angry, he's been angry ever since. He resented mother's day, he resented his own birthday and he sure as hell resented Christmas. 

 

Evelyn looked to him "So what are you doing for tomorrow?"

 

"Same thing I do every year, nothing" Noah answered her as he turned a corner. Evelyn rolled her eyes to him "C'mon Noah. You're turning eighteen"

 

He glanced to her and then just shrugged. So what. It was just as insignificant as all the others. They soon came to the house and parked up. 

 

Daniel came out of the house, not looking too happy "I get a call my buddies at NYPD telling me you’ve been seen speeding?"

 

Noah said nothing as he got out of the car, hearing Evelyn mumble "See"

 

Daniel came over to him "Where've you been?"

 

"Taking my early birthday present for a drive" Noah said as he slapped the car that Howard had given him the other day for his eighteenth. Daniel shook his head at him "How bout I lock it up in a garage, would that make you stop?"

 

Noah sighed through his nose and just looked away from him. Daniel groaned under his breath as he closed his eyes for a moment, looking over to Evelyn "Go on in, hon. I need to speak to your brother"

 

Evelyn raised her brows to Noah before taking herself inside. Daniel bit his lip and once the front door closed, he turned his head back to Noah "What're you doing, Noah?"

 

"I was going to go inside and maybe do some drawing but-"

 

"Cut it out! I mean it, just stop" Daniel dropped his hand and said breathlessly "God, if your mom could see you now"

 

Noah stared at him hard and shook his head "Don't do that"

 

"What?" Daniel looked back to him "It seems the only way I can ever get through to you is through your mom. I know she was better at everything than I was, goddamn it's one of the reasons I fell in love with her but...you being like this isn't  going to bring her back, it isn't going to make her to show up so she can yell at you and I think that’s why you do this" 

 

Noah didn't want his eyes to fill up the way they were. And it hurt Daniel to say all of this too him, but it had gotten to the point with Noah where tough love seemed to be the only option. Saying it how it really was instead of sugarcoating it seemed to be the only thing that was sinking into his brain. Noah cleared his throat and gave a firm nod "Yeah, you're right"

 

He bit his lip and slowly walked down the driveway, Daniel sighed "Where're you going now? Noah!"

 

"I'm going for a walk" Noah called back to him.

 

"What about dinner?"

 

"Leave me a plate" Noah called back as he walked down the street. Ignoring his father's calls. He know he was causing him stress, but it was almost as if he couldn’t help it. He just constantly wanted to be left alone. 

 

Was that too much to ask? 

 

If he couldn’t drive, he would always walk. No skin off his nose.

* * *

He took the subway down to time square. As usual it was busy, on his way down to broadway. He saw a group of guys, around his age down an alleyway with a girl. A girl who seemed in slight distress. Noah wasn’t the knight in shining armour type, in fact he went to walk away as he saw it as none of his business. But when he heard the girl demand they leave her alone, he couldn’t walk away. 

 

He may not have been knight in shining armour, but he certainly wasn’t the type of guy to just leave someone in possible danger, especially not a lady. That he couldn’t ignore. Noah took a few steps back and made his way into the alley “Hey guys”

 

The four young men looked to him. Noah stopped in front of them all and raised his brows to the girl “Don’t think she really wants you all around her”

 

“What’s it to you?” one sniggered. 

 

Noah shrugged “Just ain’t nice walking past and hearing a girl being uncomfortable” 

 

One of them, with the yellow turtle neck and white trousers took his hand from the wall close to the girl and turned to him. Noah was thrilled that he decided to keep with the white t-shirt and leather jacket outfit. He may get called a greaser from time to time and that he was a decade behind. But he’d rather wear that than look like a fucking rainbow. 

 

“Yeah? What’re you going to do about it?”

 

He sighed and shook his head “Come on fellas. Is it really worth all of this?” 

 

The four young men began to walk towards him. Noah bit his lip and sighed deeply through his nose. When one came too close for comfort, Noah punched him across the face which had the others then jumping on him. Noah didn’t know how he could dodge and hit so well. It came from nowhere, he assumed that he got it from watching his mom for 10 years. But it wasn’t quite just that.

 

Noah gripped to one and threw him against the wall. Then kicking the other that came to him in the stomach. Putting his hand on the back of one of their heads and smacking their head down against his knee. Finally headbutting the last one. They were all down within two minutes. Leaving Noah with just a bloody nose and mouth. 

 

The girl relaxed, letting out a deep breath. Grinning as she hurried over to him “God thank you so much! You’re my hero”

 

Noah just looked at her. Her loose brown curls and her ruby red lipstick, the piercing brown eyes. He shook his head as he slowly backed away “No. I’m not” 

 

He turned the corner and rested his back against the wall. Pinching the bridge of his nose. This had happened before, once before he helped a girl out and she happened to resemble and remind him of his mother. It was if he was drawn to it. He couldn’t save her but every time he saves a girl that looks like her, for a moment he feels like he does. In his dreams, in his head when he’s fighting off guys. 

 

Every time he saves  _ her _ . Noah pressed his hands down on his bent legs and just looked down at the ground, hearing high heeled footsteps walk down the street to him. The steps then stopped. He was heading towards Broadway anyway in hopes to catch her.

 

“Jesus. If it isn’t my godson” Angie said. 

 

Noah looked up to her, seeing her expression drop once she saw his bleeding nose and lips. Then sighing “Again?” 

 

She gripped to his chin and tilted his head to get a good luck. Rolling her eyes, she gripped onto his arm and pulled him off the wall. Her apartment wasn’t too far from here. Obviously, she looked down the alley and saw the four unconscious guys “Of course”

 

She looked to him and he remained silent. Angie tugged on his arm to get him to carry on walking. He didn’t say a single word until they reached her apartment. Sitting by the kitchen table as she got a first aid kit and a hot cloth. Noah looked to her as he put the ice pack over his knuckle “How was the show?”

 

“Good. Sold out again”

 

Noah smirked, looking down to his bleeding knuckles and nodded “Yeah well. That’s what you get for being talented” 

 

“You trying to sweet talk so I won’t be annoyed with you?”

 

“Are you annoyed with me?”

 

“A little bit” Angie sighed as she walked over, sitting down on the chair facing him and putting her little nursing stuff on the table “Only because I hate seeing you get like this. I know your mom would”

 

Noah remained quiet for a moment when Angie began to softly wipe his bloody knuckles, then after a little while he muttered “She looked like her”

 

Angie took her head to Noah, with a curious and  _ sympathetic  _ look on her face. Noah kept his eyes on his knuckles and shook her head, still speaking in the same tone “They  _ always  _ look like her”

 

Angie sighed, putting her hand on his wrist and rubbing his arm with her thumb “Oh, Noah. Just because they look like her...they aren’t her”

 

“Yeah thanks. I know that” Noah sighed, sitting back against the chair “You saying I shouldn’t help people out when they see them in danger”

 

“No. Course not. But you do go looking for it”

 

“I wasn’t tonight”

 

“But my point does still stand” Angie nodded “Maybe you weren’t looking for it tonight, but nine times out of ten you do”

 

Noah bit his lip. Not really knowing what to say. He looked out the window, into the city as Angie continued to clean him up, Angie dipped the blood stained rag into the bowl of hot water “How come you’re not at home?” 

 

Noah scoffed, rolling his eyes “Dad got a little mad at me cause I took my new car out for a drive”

 

“And by that you mean you were speeding” Angie said with a smirk, to which Noah looked at her and shrugged “Maybe a little”

 

“Cut him some slack, Noah. I’m not going to give you some lecture but you already know the type of things I’d say” 

 

“Yeah I know” 

 

“Though your dad may hate me for saying this but I don’t want you to change  _ completely _ . Your mom would be doing exactly the same if she saw people in trouble” 

 

Noah looked back to her “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah I’d say so. I think your dad knows that too, maybe that’s why he doesn’t want you doing it”

 

He shrugged “Because he lost her”

 

“Maybe” Angie nodded as she took the rag from his knuckle to his lip. She shook her head and sighed light heartedly “You have to make good choices, Noah Carter. You’ve got a long life ahead of you” 

 

“Sure” Noah laughed.

 

“Listen I’d bet anything that one day, you’ll  _ save  _ another girl. She’ll put you through your paces but you’ll like that, you’ll fall in love and get married” she shrugged “And I’ll bet she’ll be the best friend you’ll ever have. That future is something  worth living for”

 

“You just trying to make me feel better about my life”

 

“No I really believe that”

 

“Well. I don’t” Noah looked back out the window. 

 

“Your mom would want that for you”

 

“Yeah well. Moms not here”

 

“Course she is” Angie mumbled as she dropped the rag back down, giving his face a good inspection and then nodding to him “You’re good. Physically anyway”

 

“Ha  _ ha _ ” Noah grumbled. He looked at the time “When is your partner in crime meant to be coming home?” 

 

“Not till eleven. Late nights” Angie sighed as she stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Tossing the rag in the sink and emptying out the bowl. Then looking back to her godson, as she put her hand on her hips she said “You should go home”

 

Noah frowned “No. Dad and I-”

 

“You and your dad need to talk things out. It’s your birthday tomorrow, don’t think I’ve forgotten” she smirked, getting a smile out of him. She then carried on “You don’t want to start your eighteenth out on a bum note”

 

“You know I don’t celebrate my birthdays-”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because what’s the point?” Noah mumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair before dropping his hand down on the table “The woman who  _ gave  _ me a birthday is dead so ultimately so am I”

 

“That” Angie sighed, closing her eyes for a moment “That isn’t how it’s supposed to be. The way the circle of life goes, parents die before their children”

 

“Parents die before their children at the age of thirty five? One kid being ten, the other just five-”

 

“No of course not I just mean your logic on your birthday is flawed. If life had taken it’s course and Peggy had passed away an old lady, you wouldn’t dismiss your birthday or Christmas or-”

 

“But life didn’t take it’s course! Did it?” he didn’t mean to snap. He can snap quite often with the short fuse he tends to have, something he’s had since being a kid. But he rarely snaps at Angie, in fact the last time he did that was when he was thirteen. 

 

He pressed his palm against his forehead “I’m sorry Auntie Ange. I’m sorry” 

 

Angie walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, his head resting against her stomach. Angie stroked his hair, bowing her head down. After kissing the top of his hair she nodded and rested her cheek against it “I know” 

 

She carried on running her fingers through the back of his hair and then whispered “I miss her too. But God, Noah. She will be wanting you to take care of yourself”

 

She then crouched down to his level “You meant  _ everything  _ to her. I mean God the amount of times she ran into the fiery depths of hell to assure your safety when you were a babe...so if not for my sake, your dad's or your own sake. Look after yourself for hers”

 

Noah took in a breath and slowly nodded. Angie raised her brows and smiled as she gently whispered “Yeah?”

 

Noah bit his lip but didn’t give her a solid answer, he just shrugged and said “I’ll go get a cab”

 

“I’ll come with you”

 

Angie walked Noah out of the apartment into the street. Giving him a tight embrace before he got in the cab and Angie paid the driver to take Noah back to his home. 

* * *

Noah walked through the front door, seeing Evelyn in the kitchen on the phone to one of her friends, and then when he looked to the right into the living room he saw Daniel sat in his arm chair with the TV on. Noah walked in, with his hands  slipped into his pockets. 

 

Daniel saw him come over in the corner of his eyes but didn’t look at him straight away, when he did. Noah cleared his throat and sighed “Sorry”

 

Daniel squinted his eyes to him and then stood up, tilting his head as he inspected his son’s face, then groaning a sigh “Another fight?”

 

“Some guys were giving this girl hassle”

 

“Some guys are always giving a girl hassle it seems with you”

 

Noah just shrugged. Daniel knows why Noah does it, not just to be a hero to someone because of his mom. But because he looks for pain, he hunts it down like a hound because no amount of physical pain could match the pain he constantly feels on the inside. 

 

“Who cleaned you up?”

 

“Auntie Angie. I was heading to see her anyway and then saw me in the street”

 

“Good old Angie” Daniel muttered under his breath. 

 

“Look, dad I’m sorry I stormed off” Noah sighed, running his palm over his face. Saying the same kind of apology speech that he has said many times before. To which Daniel just accepted and then nodded his head to the kitchen “I’ve left you a hot plate in the microwave”

 

“Thanks” Noah muttered, making his way back over to the kitchen. He warmed up the plate of beef casserole, putting his head into his hands and leaning against the counter as he waited. Just hearing Evelyn on the phone to her friend was the only kind of entertainment he had right now. 

 

Thank god the damn thing dinged and he could take his food out. He walked into the living room, with his food on the tray for him to eat securely whilst sat on the couch by Daniel. In the corner of his eye, the picture frame of Peggy on top of the mantelpiece always looked at him. That’s why he sat there, it felt like she was looking at  _ him _ . Noah looked to Daniel once he noticed that he was looking at him “You okay?” 

 

Daniel took in a breath as he looked back to the TV “Yeah”

 

“You seem like you’ve got something on your mind” Noah added as he carried on digging around the meat and gravy. 

 

He wasn’t wrong, Daniel did have something on his mind. He had the fact that he was going to have to tell him the truth about who his father is soon. Now that he had reached the age that Peggy had said. Before she died though, she was thinking about telling him after Christmas that year, when he was ten. She said it felt wrong, neglecting Noah from knowing Steve as his father and not just a superhero in a comic book. But then after she was taken, Daniel grew scared that Noah would feel he had lost two parents if he learnt his _ ‘real’  _ father was dead. 

 

But right now, he held it off. Daniel shook his head “No, I’m fine”

 

Noah shrugged and just carried on with his meal. Then afterwards, he cleaned up and then decided to take himself to bed. It was only 10:30 but he was pretty beat after getting in that fight. He went upstairs. Taking off his shirt that had bloodstains in it,  _ another  _ shirt with blood stains in it and threw it into the laundry basket. With his dog tags trailing down his chest, he walked over to his desk and looked down to his latest sketch. He was drawing a comic book, he loved reading them so much that he began to draw one of his own. A British female agent who came to America as secret spy for the government. It wasn’t exactly a shot in the dark as to where he got that idea from. It was coming along well. Howard even said he should try and get them put up in the papers, everyone has got to start somewhere.

 

His plan was to do some more tonight but he no longer could find the energy. So he just got into his pyjama pants and got in bed. Drifting off to sleep fast than he intended. 

 

_ Peggy giggled as she lay on Noah’s bed, looking up at the ceiling “Um, alright. Window?” _

 

_ “No momma” Noah laughed. His head resting on her stomach, too looking up to the ceiling, she glanced down to her six year old and laughed “Noah I have looked at every possible W in this room”  _

 

_ “No you haven’t” Noah insisted.  _

 

_ Peggy lifted her head from the mattress and took one more search “Okay. Okay...wind up toy” _

 

_ There was a silence “Momma. Really” _

 

_ Peggy sighed, closing her eyes as she put her head back down on the mattress, shaking her head “Oh, okay for the first time in my life, I give up”  _

 

_ Noah smirked and then after a moment of silence to build up the tension, he then revealed what he had his eye on in this game of eye spy “Wadiator” _

 

_ Peggy’s jaw dropped, she propped herself up on his elbows and stared at him “You’re joking” _

 

_ Noah looked to her “I win” _

 

_ “You so do not win” _

 

_ “Yes I do! You didn’t guess”  _

 

_ Peggy’s face dropped to them being amused, again shaking her head to him and then corrected him “Radiator. It’s called a radiator not a wadiator”  _

 

_ Noah squinted his eyes to her. Then remembering, his eyes went back to normal as he raised his brows “Ohhh” _

 

_ Peggy dropped back down onto the bed “Good Lord. I should have taken into account that you struggle with your R’s”  _

 

_ Noah just giggled, he jumped up on the bed, climbing over Peggy and grabbing his drawing book, he then pulled on her sweater “Momma. Momma look”  _

 

_ Peggy opened her eyes and lifted her arms from pressing against her forehead, she propped herself back up on the bed and took hold of his sketchbook that she and Daniel just bought him for his birthday along with a lot of paints and other equipment.  _

 

_ She smiled as she saw it, but her heart also skipped a beat. It scared her sometimes how alike Noah was with Steve, because what she was looking at right now was something Steve had drew in the past, and she knows because she remembers teasing him about it and also the fact she had his sketchbook right now, hidden under her mattress. Daniel doesn’t even know she has it.  _

 

_ But she remembered the conversation surrounding it. The dancing monkey. Noah had drew the exact same thing more or less. And he had no idea about the book either, so this was truly from the top of his head.  _

 

_ Peggy grinned to him “It’s lovely darling, you’ve got quite the talent” _

 

_ She looked back down, taking in a breath, she then whispered under her breath “So much like your father” _

 

_ Having no idea that she actually said that aloud, Noah tilted his head to her “Dad can’t draw”  _

 

_ Peggy looked to him, realising that now she wasn’t in fact just thinking what she said. Quickly covering it up, she laughed breathlessly “I mean he’s a monkey” she then scrunched her face up and pressed her forehead to his “Like you” _

 

_ Noah giggled and pushed her face away, she gasped to him at the action, putting the photo to the side, she then proceeded to attack him with tickles.  _

 

* * *

The next day, Daniel, Evelyn and the rest of their  _ extended family  _ tried to make as much fuss as possible. Howard came over, Ana and Jarvis. Then the commandos and Angie too before having to get to the show. Noah then went out with Jack and grabbed a bite to eat. 

 

He told Jack how he appreciated everything Daniel was doing but he didn’t want any attention. Sometimes he felt like he could only tell Jack because there was no sugarcoating. Jack said how he got it and would feel the same if he were in his shoes. Which made him feel a whole lot better. 

 

His 18th didn’t have fuss just like he asked. The biggest fuss he got today was Daniel cooking him his favourite meal and that was just as far as it got. 

 

It was the next morning that was a big day for Noah. He just wasn’t aware of it. Noah came downstairs from his room on the Sunday afternoon and saw his father pacing up and down in the living room. He stopped and raised a brow, walking  into the room “Dad. You okay?” 

 

Daniel’s head snapped to him, giving him a tight smile “Yeah, yeah it’s just um. I gotta, I gotta talk to you”

 

“Okay?” Noah raised his brow again “What’s up?”

 

Daniel walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder, giving a soft rub as he said in a soothing voice “Sit down” 

 

It was in that moment where Noah suddenly felt his stomach tighten up. But he did as he was asked and sat down to the couch. For a moment, Noah felt like he had done something wrong that he didn’t even know about and he was going to get some kind of lecture. 

 

Daniel sat down on the coffee table facing him, putting his crutch the side and putting his hands together, he took a sharp breath “Noah there’s...something that I gotta tell you” 

 

Noah sat back on the couch “Alright?”

 

Daniel took a breath, rubbing his lips together, he swallowed thickly and then looked back to Noah “Listen I-your mom and I planned on doing this together. Telling you together”

 

“Tell me what? You’re kind of freaking me out” 

 

Noah could see how his hands were shaking, he put his hand on them for a moment “Dad?”

 

“All you’ve ever remembered in your life is that your mom and I were together” Daniel quickly said, then adding in a more gentle voice “All you’ve ever known is me being your dad. And I am, I am your dad it’s just” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and cursing under his breath. 

 

“If Peggy were here she would taken the reins, she would have been better at this...but uh, Noah...your mom and I, we started dating when you were two”

 

Noah’s brows pinched together, he then scoffed a small laugh with a confused smile “No? No cause then that means…”

 

Daniel slowly nodded “I’m not your birth father” 

 

His breath got caught in his throat, of all the things he never wished to hear. This was surely one of them, his eyes began to glaze over immediately. Noah’s brows pinched together, only managing to say in a whisper “The hell are you talking about?”

 

“Stay with me here” Daniel pleading “This is hard for me to say”

 

“And it’s hard for me to hear! You’re telling me that-”

 

“Your mom” Daniel closed his eyes for a moment and then carried on “You know she was in the army...well she...whilst she was there, she met this guy. She trained him, then they fought together and fell in love. Their relationship has always remained a secret because of who he was”

 

Noah’s brows pinched together as tears ran down his cheeks “Who? Who is it? Or  _ was  _ it?”

 

Daniel looked back to Noah and after a moment of silence, he answered “Steve Rogers”

 

When he heard the name, his instant reaction inside was to not believe it. He almost scoffed “Captain America? You’re telling me that I am the son of...of a  _ superhero _ ?”

 

“You know he existed”

 

“Yeah but...but-”

 

“I know it’s a lot to take in”

 

“A lot to take in?” Noah’s voice then went a tone higher “You’re telling me that the man I have grown up with and been  _ raised  _ by is not my dad-”

 

“Hey, I’m still you’re dad, I’m always going to be your dad”

 

“Except you’re not. Not really” Noah muttered, looking away from him. 

 

It cut Daniel a little bit. He frowned “Noah..”

 

He sighed and bowed his head for a moment, after closing his eyes he then shook his head. Biting down on his lip, he shook his head and quickly muttered before standing up “No, no I can’t do this”

 

Daniel tried to reached and grab his arm but Noah got away too quick and he left. Not just the room but the house, getting away to try and contemplate the information he was just told. God knows how he managed to do that. 

 

* * *

He knew it was early and it was her day off, but right now he needed more answers, but not from Daniel this time. He needed someone else. Noah got in his car and drove all the way back to Angie’s place. Making his way up, he couldn’t help but bang hard, sometimes he wasn’t aware of his own strength. 

 

After a few more knocks, Angie opened the door. Slight flustered by the sudden banging she heard from her bed. She squinted at him with her eyes adjusting to the light as she tied up her robe “Noah? What’s going on?” 

 

“Where’s-”

 

“In bed. Don’t worry about it” Angie shook her head “What’s wrong?”

 

Noah sucked in a deep breath and then said in an uneasy mutter “Did you know about my Dad?” 

 

Angie raised a brow, confused as to what the context was “Your dad?”

 

“Yeah. Sorry should I clarify between Daniel Sousa and Steve Rogers?”

 

Angie took in a breath and sighed. She knew Daniel was waiting for the time to tell Noah, debating in telling him sooner but she encouraged to just stick with the plan he and Peggy created, despite knowing Peggy was also having second thoughts in waiting that long, it was too hard for Daniel to cope on his own. So she felt slightly guilty and also played a big part in keeping this secret from Noah. 

 

Angie bit her lip and then told him to wait a moment, he stood in the hallway of her home and didn’t have to wait too long. Angie slipped in casual clothing quietly as possible and then returned to him. There was a cafe just a few feet down from her apartment, they were always open early. Not giving any answers until they were sat down and had coffee in their hands. Noah looked at her as she sat across the way and then lost some patience.

 

“Well?”

 

Angie rubbed her forehead and then lowered it back down to the cup. She looked at him in the eyes but still quite nervy “Yes. I knew”

 

Noah bowed his head and scoffed a small laugh as Angie then added on “You were just a few weeks old when I met your mom. I knew there was no father in the picture, there was no ring on her finger and she always came to the diner alone with you so…”

 

Noah sat back and then looked to her “So you assumed she had a love affair with Captain America?”

 

“Love affair makes it sound tedious” Angie raised her brows to him, as if a way to gently scowl “And no, of course I didn’t assume. No one could assume something like that, when your mom and I became very close friends. I was in her apartment once and saw a picture of your-of Steve, when he was skinny. Then I saw some newspaper articles that were released in the war, all the praise about him. I figured she either knew him from the war or was a fan”

 

Noah remained silent, he just looked at her and continued to listen to her. 

 

“So I asked her. At first she cried a little before managing to say anything. Then she told me everything” Angie looked out the window for a moment and shook her head “She wanted to tell you so many times. I think she planned on telling you when you were a kid, she didn’t plan on falling in love with Daniel when you were just a toddler”

 

“So why did she change her plan?”

 

Angie looked to him and shrugged “I guess because you were growing up with a father. She didn’t want to take that away from you when you were growing up, waited till you were old enough to really get it...but obviously under circumstances”

 

Noah cleared his throat and just gave a firm nod, still not looking at her directly in the eye “So. She told you everything?”

 

Angie just nodded. Noah bit on his bottom lip and raised his brows to his godmother “Wanna tell me?”

 

Angie sucked in a breath, not exactly knowing what Peggy would want her to tell him and how much he would actually want to hear, she took a long shrug “They met during the war, she put in a good word for him to be the soldier of choice for their experiment thing. She trained him and stuff and they just. I dunno fell in love and had a relationship”

 

“Fell in love” Noah echoed. Almost in disbelief that his mother has loved anyone other than the father he had known all his life. 

 

“Madly” Angie then cursed to herself. Poor choice of words. Saying Peggy was madly in love with someone other than Daniel  _ wasn’t  _ what Noah wanted to exactly hear. But Noah actually felt like he did deep down. It was a piece of Peggy’s life that he wasn’t aware of. 

 

Noah thought of things to say. Of things to ask. 

 

“Did she throw those things out? The picture and stuff”

 

Angie bit her lip and then said in a small mutter “No” 

 

“It’s in the house?”

 

“I don’t know. I just know she didn’t throw them out, she couldn’t”

 

“Couldn’t?”

 

Angie nodded to him. Noah leaned forward, putting his hands around his cup again, his eyes squinting to her “She wasn’t still in love with him...was she?”

 

“No she-” Angie groaned, she had to be careful that her words didn’t come out wrong “No. She loved your dad with everything she had. I just think that Steve was a part of her, like he was always going to be with her, she was always going to have a love for him. But still in love? I very much doubt that. You saw the way your mom and dad were, you know the truth to that question” 

 

She was right, he did. It was just that his mind was filling up with so many doubts and questions that he didn’t know what to think. 

 

Noah chipped on one of his fingernails as he then asked “How did she feel about him. Truly? Tell me”

 

Angie ran her tongue across her top set of teeth, looking to the ceiling for a moment with her mouth opened “The way she described him to me once. Before Daniel that is, when you were just a newborn really” she looked back to Noah, his deep blue eyes and shrugged “Apart from  _ you _ . He was her everything. Her world” 

 

Noah’s brows went up for a brief moment, letting out a shocked breath, sitting back against his seat again. He wasn’t expecting that. He knew his mother was deep down the sentimental and mushy type, but he never had her as a woman who would express a feeling as deep as that.  _ That  _ was something he thought that she would keep her herself, but maybe she needed to tell someone, get it out. 

 

“Did she tell my dad all of this?”

 

Angie shrugged “Not to the extent she told me, but he knew enough. He knew enough to not have that god awful Captain America radio show on”

 

Noah raised a brow. Then it clicked.  _ Betty Carver _ . Now it made sense when Peggy turned the middle of the show off despite Noah’s protests. It was poorly based around her and ultimately her relationship with Cap. Noah rubbed his forehead and muttered under his breath “Wow”

 

Angie moved her hand over to the table and rested it on his “Sweetie, I know this is hard to hear. I know your whole world must be upside right now...again. But it still stands that Daniel is your father. He raised you with your mom, he even helped look after you when they were just friends he cares about you that much. And these past eight years  _ he  _ has been by your side”

 

He knew that what she was saying was truly from the heart, she wasn’t cutting any corners with him. But she was also right when she said it was hard to hear. It was a bitter pill to swallow that was for sure. He wanted to try and find that box. 

 

Angie squeezed his hand again “Noah”

 

He snapped out of his gaze and looked to her “Hm?”

 

“Are you going to be okay?”

 

For the first time in years. Noah was stuck for words. 


	3. Ride Or Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now 21, Noah has been hitting rock bottom ever since he found out the truth about Steve Rogers being his father. But now, he was going to get a reality check.

**6TH OCTOBER 1967**

_ Age: 21 _

 

Noah slammed the glass down onto the bar, making an ‘ _ ah _ ’ as the whiskey burned down his throat. 

 

“Same again” He ordered. 

 

“That’s your third. You’ve been here for just twenty minutes”

 

Noah looked to the bartender and shrugged “I don’t give a shit. Pour me another fucking whiskey”

 

The bartender groaned under his breath and didn’t respond to him, he just grabbed the  _ Jack Daniel’s  _ bottle and poured him another glass. It was getting on midnight, so he was horrified when he got a smack on the back of the head and his 16 year old sister stood at him at the bar. 

 

Noah looked at her up and down “Evelyn? The hell are you doing here?”

 

“The hell are  _ you  _ doing here? It’s midnight”

 

“We haven’t seen you in two days, Noah!”

 

“Then why are you here?” Noah said with his voice a little more raised to her. 

 

Evelyn then matched him back in the same voice “Uncle Howard let you stay at his place for two days, you really think he wasn’t going to say anything? He said that you come here”

 

Noah scoffed under his breath and looked away from her. The bartender slid the whiskey to Noah and looked to Evelyn “Should you be in here?”

 

“Should you?” Evelyn fired back. 

 

To which the bartender smirked and then looked at her up and down, Noah looked to him, seeing him undressing his sister with his eyes and pointed at him with the glass in his hand “Don’t fucking look at her” 

 

The bartender then looked to him and laughed “Or what?”

 

Noah bit his lip and then rose from his chair, suddenly, Noah smashed his head against the back of the bartender’s head, pushing his head right down and smacking his forehead against the bar, knocking him out instantly. He still wasn’t aware  of his strength, well, he wasn’t aware he was enhanced. 

 

No-one knew because no-one thought it was a possibility for it to be genetically passed. Once Noah did that, other guys in the bar then went for him. Noah pushed Evelyn out of the way and turned around, punching one guy across the face immediately, Evelyn watched as her big brother hit and get hit, though barely. He was quick and didn’t even flinch when he was hit. 

 

The five guys who went for him were down within minutes, one flung into a table which broke, another having a barstool hit over their back and kicked to the floor. The list went on in how Noah knocked the guys out. She didn’t even know how he knew how to knock theses guys and, and truth be told, Noah didn’t even know how he knew.

 

He took deep breaths as the unconscious men lay at his feet, all that was now to be heard was the music coming from the stereos, no longer the lively atmosphere was lively drunken men. Noah looked to his sister, who looked both shocked and  _ disappointed _ . He looked at her with just annoyance. 

 

He stepped over a body and grabbed her by the arm, taking her outside in the pouring rain. He ripped his hand away viciously “You see! This is why you just need to stay out of my business” 

 

“How was that my fault?”

 

“You walk into a bar like this in-”

 

“Are you saying it’s my fault cause of something I’m  _ wearing _ ? You’re gonna be one of those guys?”

 

Noah pressed his palms together “No I am not saying it’s your fault because of what you’re wearing. I’m saying that guys like  _ that  _ look at women in a disgusting way no matter what they are wearing. You could have been wearing a boiler suit and they’d perv on you. But the fact that you even showed up it just causes trouble”

 

“Trouble follows you like a stink in the air it had nothing to do with me” Evelyn shook her head to him. 

 

Noah rubbed his fingers through his hair roughly his now wet hair. 

 

Evelyn then carried on “Dad has put up with so much shit with you ever since mom died-”

 

Noah then lost his temper and just yelled “Go  _ home  _ Evelyn! Just go home! You don’t belong here!” 

 

Evelyn then lost her temper for a moment and slapped his hands against his chest, pushing him slightly “And you’re deluded if you think that you do!” 

 

Noah looked over her shoulder and saw Evelyn’s girlfriend in the car waiting. Her first girlfriend since her coming out. They couldn’t exactly parade it around yet, the world wasn’t ready for that. But still. Noah looked back to his little sister “Get in that car and go home”

 

“And where are going?”

 

Noah shrugged “What does it matter?” he took a few steps back and then started to walk towards his motorcycle. Evelyn sighed and shook her head “For god sake Noah you’ve been drinking. It’s dark and raining don’t be stupid” 

 

But he just ignored her. And she should have known better, who was she kidding? Noah hasn’t care whether he lived or died since he was 13 years old. Daniel tried to get him help for depression, but Noah blew it off. You can’t help those who didn’t want to be helped. 

 

Noah got on his motorcycle and drove away despite his sister’s plea. He had no idea where he was going, nor did he really care. He in fact turned up the speed of the motorcycle. Not taking the slippery roads into account, and how much they would affect the wheels when making a sharp turn. The road caught his bike off guard and quite literally swept it off it’s feet. 

 

Noah tried to swerve it as best as he could but the bike skidded down on the road, with his foot stuck he got taken with it, the bike went off road and crashed into a tree. The bike crashed against the trunk and then Noah’s body crashed against the bike. The blow knocked him out as soon as the impact happened. 

 

No one found him, not for hours. A passerbyer finally came around the corner and their light shone on Noah and the crash, causing them to stop, get out and attend to him. They carried Noah into the back of their car, having no choice but to leave his motorcycle behind as they rushed to hospital. 

 

Noah lay in the hospital bed. A bandage over his nose. A bruise from the top left side of his forehead down to his temple. Busted lip and a cracked rib. Other than that he was fine. The Doctor said rather bluntly that he didn’t know how Noah was alive, anyone else would have died. And Noah will walk away without any permanent damage.

 

But that wasn’t exactly true. This crash had affected him permanently. For the first time in forever, this was the first time he thought he was going to die, after all the fights and  _ allowing  _ people to beat him to a pulp. This was when he thought it was the end, he saw that light at the end of the tunnel. It was warm and soothing, like his mother. And then he thought of her, he thought how ashamed she must be with him that he would return to her after something as stupid and reckless as a motorcycle accident. Especially when it could have been avoided.

 

Then she would have been angry at him for doing this to Daniel and Evelyn. Haven’t they been through enough? Did he think that little of them as to leave them like this? When the last words he said to his sister was basically to go away. How could he do that to her? How could he have spoken to her that way?

 

Those hours in that hospital bed made him see everything so clearly now. And everything that he thought about made him burst into tears when he was left alone. Sobbing so much that he was shaking. He tried to do it as quietly as possible, burying his face into his palms. Clutching onto his hair before smaking his head altogether. As if to knock some sense into himself. It’s taken 8 years for it to happen but maybe he would actually get the hang of it. 

 

It hit early next morning and Noah discharged himself once the Doctor had given him the all clear. He called himself a cab, luckily the money he had in his back pocket was salvaged, enough to afford for him to go home. 

* * *

Noah got out of the cab after paying the driver. Is dad hadn’t seen him in getting on three days and now he would be seeing his son in one of the worst states he had ever seen. He didn’t ask them to take him to go home, he had a change of  mind. He knew Daniel wasn’t going to be at home, so the driver took him to SHIELD headquarters. 

 

He walked into the building, over to the receptionist. 

 

“Hey Jeanie”

 

The young woman looked up, smiling with the sound of his voice and then gasped when she saw the state. Noah chuckled softly and nodded “I know. Trust me, I know”

 

“What have you done now?” 

 

Noah sighed, after a moment of silence he just shrugged “Can I just go in and see my dad?”

 

Jean gave him a tight smile after a while “Of course” 

 

She buzzed him in, causing the elevator doors to open and he walked in. A few agents turned their heads as he walked past. Noah was obviously known by everyone around here. The son of the two founder and directors. No-one knew he was the son of Captain America yet, it was still kept under wraps. But he didn’t speak to anyone, not until he reached nearer the back office and Jack caught him “The hell happened?”

 

“I crashed my bike”

 

Jack looked at him up and down “God damn Noah. You know your dad has been wondering where you were for the past two days? And your sister-”

 

“I know” Noah frowned “I know, that’s why I’m here. To apologise” 

 

Jack gently put his hand on his shoulder “Just want you to stop all of this. You know I don’t bullshit with you, I never have. Please stop this, you’re going to wind up dead”

 

“Doctor doesn’t understand how I’m not right now...I should be”

 

He saw how the words shook the very bones of Jack. Noah then took in a big breath through his nose and then said in a more quiet voice “It was a wake up call”

 

Jack looked back to him, his brows going slightly up “It was?”

 

“Yeah, for the first time ever I imagined what my mom would have said to me if I was  _ reunited  _ with her. I wagered she wouldn’t be too pleased with me. I did all the things I did because I lost her but I’ve not been respecting the mother she was” 

 

“God you have no idea how glad your dad is gonna be to hear that. How glad we’re all gonna be” 

 

Noah laid a gentle smile to him and nodded “Hope so”

 

Jack gently gave him a pat and a rub of the back “Go on in then, bud” 

 

Noah gave him another smile and then walked into the back office, he slowly opened the door to see Daniel sat at the table with his head leaning against his hand. When he heard the door creek, he looked up expecting Jack or another agent, certainly not his son. When he saw him, his brain didn’t give him chance to notice his state.

 

Daniel just grabbed his crutch and got up, quickly making his way over to him “Noah! Where’ve you…” it was in that moment where he looked at his face.

 

“What’ve you done?” he gasped, putting his hand on Noah’s chin and getting a good look. 

 

Noah winched and then explained “Motorcycle accident. Cracked rib, sprained ankle and my face isn’t as pretty right now but the Doctor was pretty amazed that I’m not on a slab right now”

 

“That’s not funny” 

 

“I’m not laughing” Noah shrugged. 

 

Daniel frowned to him, he rubbed his lips together and shook his head “I gotta be honest Noah, I don’t know what else to do-”

 

“I want to join”

 

Daniel then stopped in his words and just stared at him, not exactly following what he meant “You want to join what?”

 

“This. SHIELD. I want to join”

 

He squinted at him and then sighed “Noah”

 

“Look I know what you’re going to say or even thinking. But I’m serious, I want to do something with my life”

 

“Where has this-”

 

“I thought I was going to die, dad. For the first time in these whole 8 years I really thought I was going to die, bright light, everything. And I thought about how I’ve been wrecking my life...because I’ve been angry that mom was taken from me” his eyes began to glaze over. He shook his head “I’ve been angry with everyone. I was angry with you, Jack. Myself. Why could no one save her? Why couldn’t she save herself like she always did? That was what I have been living with for the past 8 years but when I stared death in the face it actually scared the shit out of me that mom would be ashamed of what I’ve become”

 

“Your mom would never be ashamed of you” Daniel said with a shaken breath. 

 

“Oh but she would have yelled” Noah said with a watery smile “Like you said to me on my 18th dad, I do these things because I want mom to come back and yell at me. That’s why I did these things but it...it isn’t going to happen”

 

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose and let out one small blubbery cry. He shook his head and looked away for a moment, taking in a deep breath “So. Whilst I was in the cab all the way here I was trying to figure out what it was that I wanted to  do. How I wanted to go from here...and I’m a bit of a hot head so why not put that to good use”

 

It was then Daniel who let out a watery smile and breathless laugh as he shook his head and said “God you’re so much like your mother”

 

He pulled Noah in for an embrace, more cautious of his wounds of course. But Noah gripped onto him hard, burying his face into the crook of his neck. After a while, Noah pulled away and looked back to Daniel “So. What do you say?”

 

Daniel grew a small smile “I say we wait until you’ve recovered from your injuries and then get you training”

 

Noah then grinned “Really?”

 

“Yeah. Really”

 

Noah smiled. Truly smiled, one that warmed Daniel’s heart. He bowed his head for a moment and then said back to Daniel before looking up “I know on the day you told me about Steve that I just walked out but the one thing I should have said on that day and everyday since” he then looked to Daniel “That  _ you’re  _ my father. Nothing will ever change that. I don’t care where I got my DNA from, it’s you who helped raise me with my mom. You looked after my mom and I know she would always she could look after herself but you did take care of her and me. And I can never thank you enough for it”

 

Daniel had more tears come down his cheeks “I love you”

 

“I love you too, dad” Noah whispered before falling back into an embrace.

* * *

Noah walked upstairs and headed down the hall of the home, reaching Evelyn’s room and he stood in the open door frame, looking down to the floor as he did. Evelyn was lay on her bed, she looked up and her jaw dropped when she saw him stood at her door in the state that he was in. 

 

Noah then took his eyes to her only for a moment and then looked away again, as if he were ashamed to be stood in front of her like this. He shook his head and then muttered to her “Please don’t hate me”

 

Evelyn quickly got off the bed and hurried over to him, looking at him up and down before just put her arms around him, which he quickly did the same to her, resting his chin on her shoulder, he took a breath and whispered “I’m sorry I’ve been an ass...for the past 8 years”

 

Evelyn let out a blubbered laugh as she gripped onto his back harder, hearing him then say to her “I’m sorry for all the things I’ve said to you over the years that would have upset you”

 

She just nodded and nuzzled her head against his. She had been waiting for so long to hear him say this, to hear him say this. For him to get clarity and see what he had been doing these past few years and how it had affected people around her. She wasn’t waiting for him to say it for her sake, but for his own. 

 

“I’ve missed you big brother” 

 

Noah smiled and nodded against her shoulder “Yeah, I’ve missed me too”

 

Evelyn giggled and gently hit his shoulder as she pulled away, the tone feeling more light, she looked at him up and down “Well then. What’s happened?”

 

“May have crashed my bike after I left you at the bar”

 

“Well. Serves you right for acting like such a dick” 

 

“That’s what Auntie Angie said when I told her about everything” he nodded “Kind of deserved it”

 

“No long term damage?”

 

“Nope. Doc said it was a miracle” he then raised his brows and muttered to her with a small smirk “Got to get a new bike though”

 

Evelyn huffed through his nose, quite amused. Noah then scratched the back of his head and then broke some more news to her “I’ve spoke to dad”

 

“You’ve been to his work like  _ that _ ?”

 

Noah smirked “Yeah he may have been a little worried and confused. We talked it out and...I came to a revelation” 

 

Evelyn raised a brow that just screamed Peggy. Noah felt his stomach fill with warmth as a smile grew more across his face “I’m going into training. To be an Agent for SHIELD”

 

Her brows then flung up altogether, her voice went a pitch higher due to the sheer surprise of it all. One minute he is starting fights in a bar and the next he is going to work for SHIELD. And all in the space of a night. 

 

“What?”

 

“I am capable”

 

Evelyn smiled to him, slowly nodding. Well at least he was making  _ something  _ of himself from now on. 

 

“Mom would be proud of you” Evelyn whispered, putting her hand on his grinning cheek. Then the pair raced downstairs and celebrated with a nice cold bowl of ice cream. At least that hadn’t changed from being little. 

* * *

 

It took weeks for him to recover, but when he did. He jumped straight into training, much to everyone’s pleasure. 

 

Everyone was also shocked at how much he had turned himself around in the past few weeks, he was staying at home more with the family, him and Evelyn got back to being the siblings they used to be. 

 

He even spent time in the kitchen and cooked with Daniel. He was being more of the family man again, like when he was a family  _ boy _ . It had only been a few weeks and yet it felt like it had always been like this. Sometimes Daniel became  overwhelmed when he sat back and watched Noah actually laugh. Smile. Even tell a joke. He finally had that happy little boy back, the one that he and Peggy raised together for a decade. 

 

When Noah was thrown into the training, he didn’t expect it to be so tough but that didn’t stop him. He had spent 8 years of his life being tough in many different ways. But this kind of toughness was to make it worthwhile, and knowing that pushing him even further to carry on and train as hard as he could. He would go to the gym in his spare time. Taking much more care of himself in general. 

 

Evelyn was beginning to think that crash was a secret god send. Or a sign from their mother for him to stop dicking about. Though Daniel said she may have been tough love at times but she wasn’t  _ that  _ tough. 

 

The best person to train him was Pinker Pinkerton. Not many people would think it, but he had a habit of surprising people. He was top grade at martial arts and was a highly skilled fighter. He was also a tough observer. 

 

But he surprised him. Noah had never had any professional training, but he was like a bullet. Fast and hit hard. It actually shocked her. He could defend well, hit well. And his flexibility was second to none. When it came to the results of it all, Pinkerton had to give him a perfect score. He was moving up in the training faster than anyone before. 

 

All the other agents at the academy thought it was favouritism at first, but then they actually saw him in action and noticed it was nothing of the sort. He was remarkable. His fighting and shooting. Though Peggy did give him a fake little gun when he was little that he played with in the backyard. Maybe growing up doing that helped in that department. 

 

Maybe all the fights he had in preschool when kids got him mad helped his training too growing up. No-one knew that it was because he was enhanced.  _ No-one _ . If they knew that the super soldier serum could be passed down genetically then it would and scientific breakthrough. The world would go mad if they learnt that Captain America had a son who also had the same abilities. 

 

Pinkerton watched him from the observation booth with Jack and Daniel by either side of him. He shook his head “I don’t know how the hell he’s this good but he just is.  _ He  _ doesn’t even know”

 

Daniel smirked, filled with a mixture of pride and smugness. Jack looked to him “Don’t get big for your boots Sousa. His fighting skill isn’t done with a stick”

 

Daniel frowned at him and then they both looked back to Noah doing his shooting. After shooting the dummy in the head in the same spot five times. He bit his lip with a smile, putting the gun down and taking off his ear protectors, he turned to them watching him and put his thumb up to them which they returned to him. 

 

Obviously he passed the lie detector test that they all have to go through. It wasn’t as if he was going to be someone to stab them in the back. Still, always good to double check these days, just in case they had no Norman Bates situation. But no, he passed with flying colours in everything. 

 

The New Year brought a resolution to Noah indeed, to be a new man and to make his life a more worth while one now that he was to become an Agent of SHIELD. He promised himself that he would put his  _ skill  _ to good use now, no more useless fights. The fights that he would now have would to be for the better good, to protect people. The country. The world. He would be doing what his mother was doing. Which was the best thing he could do with his life.

 

Peggy had not only put her heart and soul into him. But she put her heart and soul into her work. That was her second pride and joy. The least he could do was to make sure he carried on her legacy, he finally found his calling. Something that may have been calling him for years now. Ever since he was born it may have been calling him. This was the best way to honour her, and when Daniel retired or even when his time comes, he would be doing this for him too. 

 

Come the end of January the next year and there was a ceremony for his graduation from the academy. At first he didn’t want any big fuss. That part of him still hasn’t changed. But the part of Angie where she insisted on making a fuss still stood. She had the after party all organised for when he got back. It wasn’t some big ceremony. Not at all, which he was glad about. It was just all the agents and directors there. 

 

They were already his family. Howard, the Commandos, Daniel, Jack. And now he was going to get to work with them, see them everyday. When he was a boy that’s all he ever wanted to do, he used to always nag Peggy and Daniel to let him go to the office and hang out with everyone. Sometimes they had no choice if he was ‘ _ ill _ ’ or for some reason school wasn’t open. God he loved school holidays for that reason alone. But now he could be here full time, no need to fake being ill and certainly no school. That ship sailed 3 years ago. 

 

Noah stood in front of them all as Daniel stood in the centre, giving him a proud smile as he then passed over his badge. His dark stone cold silver badge with his name engraved.

 

_ Agent Noah Carter _

 

A sight that he never thought he would. A sight the rest of them were afraid they were never see, but now it had all come true. Daniel took in a breath, with a proud look still on his face, he said with great pride. 

 

“Welcome to SHIELD.  _ Agent Carter _ ”


	4. Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A baby boy is about to be born. Howard and Maria Stark are set to be parents any day now and Howard wants Noah to be the godfather, leading Noah to rethink his life choices and if he is worthy for such a high title

**29TH MAY 1970**

 

_ Age: 23 _

 

“No way” Noah laughed as he walked around the office, being practically chased around by Howard who was still pleading with him. 

 

“Come on! You’d be great” 

Noah stopped in his treks and turned around to Howard, still very much amused at his suggestion “Godfather?”

“Why not! I’m yours” 

 

“And I shall forgive my mother for thinking that was a good idea at the time” he laughed before carrying on walking through the building. Howard then too walking after him. Still trying to insist on his case “I can’t think of anyone better”

 

“Oh I can” Noah snorted as he fixed up the sleeve on his uniform “I can even write you a list”

 

Howard sped up his walking to now be beside Noah rather than behind him, slapping his hand on his shoulder “Come on. You’re the best pal I have”

 

“What about Jarvis?”

 

“Yeah he is the godfather  _ too _ . Two godfathers and two godmothers” 

 

Noah folded his arms, squinting at him with a curious smirk on his face “Alright. Who’s the others prey tell?”

 

“Jarvis,  _ you _ , Ana...and Peggy. We’re  _ reserving  _ the second godmother title to your mom. After she was the greatest friend I’ve ever had” 

 

Noah took a breath, he bit his lip “Isn’t the idea of godparents are for them to be here if anything happens to you?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Then there’s not much good in picking someone who...who’s already dead” Noah raised his brows to him before walking back through the building, Howard then following him again “I know but it’s more of a tribute. And you had the same”

 

“The same?” Noah shrugged.       

 

“Yeah. Bucky Barnes, he was Steve’s best friend”

 

Noah’s face froze for a moment as he let the news process but just carried on walking and ignored it. 

 

To which Howard then carried on “Besides the kid will have three godparents anyway.  _ And  _ nothing is going to happen to me or Maria. Not if I can help it anyway” 

 

“Look. I appreciate the gesture I do. But I don’t think I’m exactly a good role model for the kid”

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

“The things I did as a teenager”

 

“That is exactly why you’re perfect” Howard insisted, sticking his hand into his pockets “You turned your life around completely, picked yourself up when you were at your worst. What better role model is there?”

 

“Someone who hadn’t got themselves into a shit situation the first place” Noah snorted. At least he could laugh about it now.

 

“If anything does happen to me or Maria you would be the one to turn to cause you’ve been through the same thing, look. Noah. You’re taking this very literal”

 

“Course I am you dumbass I’m a Christian” Noah snorted. 

 

Howard stopped him again and put both his hands on his shoulders, making Noah look at him right in the eyes “Okay. I’m about to get serious. Obviously you’re well aware I knew your mother. She was my best friend and I see a lot of her in  you”

 

Noah bowed his head with a warm smile and then was struck when Howard added “You forget that I also knew your father. Birth one I’m talking about”

 

Noah then looked back to him and Howard nodded to him “Steve was a good man. And don’t worry I’m not going to go into a shit load of detail. But like it or not, I see some of him in you too. And I’m not just talking about your eyes” 

 

He sighed and looked away from him as Howard then wouldn’t stop “You have both of their integrity and courage. And I know she didn’t tell you this but put it this way you didn’t get your drawing skills from her”

 

“Alright. Alright. Your point?” 

 

“My point is. I know your parents. All  _ three  _ of them, and I know that there is no better choice than you” 

 

Noah just stared at him, he rolled his eyes and said with a soft expression “Okay. If I say yes to this, will you stop following me and go do some work”

 

“I’ll stop following you but I can’t promise I’ll do any work” 

 

Noah took in a breath “Okay fine-you’ve set the kid up with disappointment-”

 

“I’ve set my kid up with the greatest” Howard grinned, giving him a playful punch on the jaw and slapped his hands together as he then practically went skipping down the hallway, fist in the air and everything. 

 

Noah had only managed to look after himself, God knows how he would manage to be some kind of  _ spiritual mentor  _ to a baby. But perhaps Howard was right, perhaps he was taking it too literal. Too serious. 

 

* * *

 

Noah leaned back in the chair and was still laughing about Howard “Godfather” 

 

He looked to Angie, who was putting her makeup on, he then leaned forward again “Auntie Ange. Godfather”

 

Angie shrugged as she looked at herself in the mirror, putting her mascara on. Her show starts soon, which means Noah would eventually get his ass out of her dressing room and leave her to shine. 

 

“I laughed when your mom and dad asked me to be godmother to you  _ and  _ Evie”

 

“But you’re great”

 

“And so are you” Angie stated as she put the mascara back in her bag and looked to him. She shrugged and looked back down to her bag “You’re one of the greatest men I have ever met in my life and I’m not just saying that because I  _ am  _ your  godmother, you're the best man I’ve ever had in my life” 

 

Noah huffed a small laugh and then muttered as he looked out of her window that shed beautiful light on the city “Now I know you’re just being nice”

 

“Listen if I were to have had kids, I would have made you their godfather”

 

“You do know you can always adopt”

 

Angie nodded “I know we’re thinking about it”

 

Noah raised his brows “Really?” 

 

She then shrugged and quickly brushed off the subject, not wanting to get into it too much “Yeah but you know how tricky it can be, anyway look, I think you’re the perfect choice”

 

Noah put his head back against the chair, Angie then took the time to sit down and faced him, putting her hands together “Why’re you so hesitant? I know you take this kind of thing seriously but...you’re being particularly...what’s the word...fussy?” 

 

Noah bit his lip and just remained silent for a moment. He thought about it to himself for a moment and then finally gave the answer that he knew he felt deep down in his gut “I’ve done some stupid shit in my life and why would any kid listen to me?” 

 

He took in a breath and shrugged “I don’t know, I don’t want to be some kind of disappointment”

 

“Okay well you could never be that” Angie said softly, shaking her head to him and giving him a look to prove that she was being very much serious. Before Noah had the chance to say anything, there was a knock on the door, the stage manager popped their head in “Angie. You’re due on soon”

 

Angie stood back up from her seat “Yeah. Just need to put my dress on”

 

The door closed again with Angie leaning against her clothing rack, she looked over to Noah with an amused smirk, smacking on her wrist to mock the telling off that was between the lines of what her manager just said. Noah just snorted a laugh as he briefly looked away for a moment. 

 

Angie cracked her back and then neck side to side before saying “Insane”

 

He then looked at her oddly “What?”

 

“That's what I called your mom when she said she wanted me to be godmother first time round. Insane. How insane she must be to actually trust me that much to be such an important figure in her kids life…”

 

She then looked back to him and shrugged “I mean, look at you. My point has been proven”

 

Noah knocked his head back in a laugh and then stood up, as he made his way over to her and holding his arms out, still in a pit of giggles as he said “Ah, I do love you”

 

“And this kid will love you” Angie assured as she put her arms around him. Noah gave her a squeeze, as if to also say thank you for calming him down about his internal panic. It wasn’t as if he was going to be the damn father. He had Howard for that. 

 

Noah pressed his lips against her temple “Have a great show”

 

“Always do” Angie chuckled as she patted his side as he walked past her to the door. Angie then took a breath and looked over her shoulder to him “Noah”

 

He stopped as he came to the door and then looked to her “Yeah”

 

“If that baby grows up to even be a tenth of the person you’ve become. Then they would have been truly blessed” 

 

Noah gave her a fond smile “And I’m blessed to become even a tenth of  _ you _ ” 

 

Angie grinned at him, she then rolled her eyes at herself as her eyes began to prickle “You better go before my makeup runs”

 

After a small chuckle at her, he did exactly that and left. 

 

* * *

 

Later on that night, Noah was woken up by Daniel shaking him rather vigorously. Noah looked at him, his eyes barely even open “Dad? What’s wrong?”

 

“It Maria. She’s gone into labour” 

 

“What?” Noah said in a groggy voice, still practically half asleep as he slowly tried to pull himself out of bed with the mattress clinging onto him to stay as if it were a woman. Well, that’s what he felt like it was anyway. 

 

“Maria. Labour, as godfather it’s right that you’re there. I know Howard was when you were born” 

 

Noah got on his feet and gave a self pitied groan as he walked over to the drawers and picked out a sweater and then grabbed a pair of jeans, his eyes still squinted as the lights insulted his eyes, he looked over to Daniel and nodded as he put on the sweater “Yeah I’ll be right down” 

 

Daniel left Noah to get dressed. He may have fallen over a few times when trying to put his pants, socks and shoes on. But he made it down there okay. He  _ may  _ have also stumbled down the stairs. Daniel and Evelyn were always downstairs. Noah looked to his little sister “What’re you doing?” 

 

“I wanna see the baby, duh” 

 

Daniel opened the front door and pushed the pair out of the house. Noah rested his head against the window of the car and was then pushed by Evelyn once she noticed that he was drifting off to sleep. Noah grunted as he quickly woke up and looked to her “Must you?”

 

“Why yes I must” Evelyn said with a smirk and a cocky whisper. 

 

Noah groaned under his breath and rested back against the window but this time he was almost too afraid to go to sleep in case his forehead was caused to bang against the glass again. Luckily the hospital that Maria was in wasn’t too far away from their house. It was their local one even. 

 

Of course Jarvis and Ana were already there, they weren’t going to miss it. They went on the delivery ward and heard Maria’s yells from right down the hall. Of course Howard was outside, he couldn’t be in there when all of  _ that  _ was going on. He’d faint. 

 

He had to admit, now that he was here. Noah was pretty excited for it, and after speaking to Angie she kind of made him see the light and see the goodness in all of this. How it really is an honour and how it will be a good thing for him. If Howard had asked him this a few years ago, he would have flat out said no. He and Howard always got on but he certainly wouldn’t have felt good enough to be a godfather then. 

 

But now, feeling that he has in fact turned his life around. This would be a good thing for him, perhaps motivation even more to stay on the straight and narrow. 

 

Howard slapped his hand on Noah’s back as he gave him a brief embrace “Thanks for coming here, man”

 

“Yeah well. Apart from being pushed out of bed. I wouldn’t miss it” Noah dryly teased, then being pulled in for a brief, tight embrace again before they dispersed and all took their seats in the waiting room. 

 

Labour sounded very long and very painful. Noah’s opinion of women went even higher and he didn’t think that was possible. They were already high up in his estimations.  

 

Four more hours of blood sweat and tears and little Anthony Stark was welcomed to the world. 7 pounds 6 ounces and approximately 20 inches. May 30th now had a new reason to be a memorable day. Noah’s godson was brought into this world. 

 

After Howard and Maria had their moment alone with him, everyone else was then welcomed in the room to say hello to the latest edition of this very large and very mixed family. Soon enough, he was handed over to Noah, who at first thought there was no way in hell he could hold a baby, but Evelyn told him to then grow a pair and just hold the damn baby so he did. 

 

He held the  _ damn baby  _ in his arms and was rather taken away. He was so tiny, he hasn’t held a baby since Evelyn was one. And child Noah was so much more mature than adult Noah, adult Noah trusted his younger self more than he trusts himself now, he knew that much. Still, he was handling it just fine. Maria even called him a natural which made Daniel joke and say  _ ‘don’t give him any ideas’  _ which actually sounded like a mom joke. 

 

Little Anthony was healthy as any other baby, there was no concern for him whatsoever. Of course Maria would want to sleep now given that it was early hours, but they would be able to go home today. Noah sat there with the baby in his arms when Maria was fast asleep, Howard rested his head on the mattress from slouching in the other arm chair and was also knocked out. 

 

Daniel, Evelyn, Jarvis and Ana went home some time ago, when asked if he was to join them. Noah actually passed and said he wanted to stay, which most likely surprised him more than anyone else. 

 

He looked down to the sleeping baby that was resting against his stomach with the support of his arm “Y’know. I was a little nervous, being a godfather. It’s a big deal for me” 

 

Noah tilted his head at him and then broke out into a smile, shaking his head “Don’t take this the wrong way but you are not what I expected...then again I expected you to come out of your mom with a moustache like dear old dad” 

 

Of course he got no reaction from the baby.

 

“You don't talk much yet. But I wager with those two as your parents that you will. But right now it's fine because sometimes I don't like talking...then again you'd be useful because when I do feel like talking all you will do is listen. Not understand but...you'll listen” 

 

Baby Anthony then gripped onto his finger, gurgling and making small innocent noises as he stirred against Noah’s stomach. Noah brushed his finger gently against the childs cheek and then said in a soft voice “You’ve got an Aunt. Not by blood or anything but, you would have called her your aunt. And man she would have been the best godparent you could ask for. Certainly better than me. Lucky you've got Jarvis and Ana to be the responsible ones...but  _ she  _ was the best. Her name was Peggy, she was my mother. And everyone will make sure that you're going to grow up knowing all about her and how amazing she is. And even though she isn't here, she’ll be the best influence you'll ever have” 

 

Another voice then came into the equation as Howard lifted his head from the mattress “Should I take offence to that?”

 

Noah just looked to him and huffed a small laugh “Am I wrong?”

 

Howard stretched in his chair and shook his head “No. I guess not. Though it seems from here that you're doing a good job so far”

 

Noah stood up with the baby in his arms and raised his brows to Howard “You actually need to bond with your kid”

 

He wasn't stupid, he knew that having a baby wasn't exactly what Howard wanted. With Maria being a bit younger than him, Howard considered already  _ too old  _ in his own mind to be a father. His playboy days were over years ago once he met  Maria, but he never quite changed enough to be a father. But he didn't really have a choice. Maria wanted a baby and that was that. Noah slipped his hands into his pockets and watched Howard as he looked down to his son. 

 

“Y’know. Uncle Howard. He's gonna be the greatest thing you've ever done” 

 

Howard looked up to Noah, who's eyes were now fixed on the baby “And you'll be his hero, which is something you have to honour” he took in a breath “You need to make sure he's loved because if anything ever happened that take you or Maria away. He may hurt but he will also be grateful that he was so loved…”

 

Howard frowned “Noah. You okay?”

 

“Fine” Noah quickly whispered as he snapped out of his gaze, giving a rather tearful smile. He shrugged in another attempt to lighten up the mood “He's going to make something of himself one day...little Tony Stark is one day gonna change the world” 

 

Little Tony had his beady brown eyes now wide open and unknowingly stared right at Noah, who let out a soft smile and nodded to himself Yes indeed, he really believed a star has been born. 


End file.
